Shenanigans of a Misomaniac
by Bunri
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures, which leads to our beloved Divine Dragon Naga summoning a snooty 14-year old from our world to Awakening's against her will to fulfill the role of the Avatar. Although killing the bad guys is fun, our beloved heroine's still unhappy and wants to make the Shepherds' lives living hell cuz all of them are idiots except for Henry.
1. Lazor' Beams

_**Hey there, Bunri here! After a few months of doing nothing and needing something to pass my time with, I decided giving writing fanfiction a shot. I chose to start off with a crackfic, cuz they're my favorite type of fanfiction.**_

_**I don't have much writing experience or confidence in my writing skills, so I'm willing to accept any **__**constructive**__** criticism. I don't really have a direction in mind for this crackfic to take, so it'll just be jumping from different points in time in Awakening.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't have anything to do with Nintendo or Fire Emblem etc.**_

* * *

"Here sheepy sheepy! Come to the slau-"

"IMMA FIRIN MA LAZOR!"

Before the Brigands' leader was able to finish his sentence, he was completely incinerated by a young orange-haired girl's thun-er, 'lazor' beam. After dusting her robes and taking in a huff of breath, said orange-haired girl fired another 'lazor' and incinerated the brigand's ashes as well, so there was nothing left of that son of a bitch.

A few seconds and chirping crickets later, the villagers broke the silence with a burst of applause and cheers of appreciation. The head of the village came forth and attempted to express his gratitude by offering the girl and her companions a place to stay for the night for killing all the bad men. His offer gave our heroine the impression he was a 'bad man' as well, which resulted in him getting 'lazored' by the girl as well. Due to the marvelous lack of logic in video game logic, the villagers and the girl's companions didn't bat any eyelashes and the merry group of four went on their merry way.

"Those magical beams of doom and death of yours have made it pretty clear that you're certainly no helpless victim." said Chrom, although Hiyo, our not-so-nameless-anymore heroine preferred to call him Chronniekins.

"That's cuz I'm not dumba-"

Before Hiyo could finish her clearly directed insult towards the newly dubbed Chronniekins, the walking hunk of metal by the name of Frederick covered her mouth and attempted to change the subject in fear of aggravating the wrath of Hiyo's 'lazors'.

"Indeed. Perhaps you might even be capable for how you cannot be considered a threat with your magical beams of doom and death?" probed Frederick. Hiyo had a really aggravating nickname for the walking hunk of metal, but the author wanted to save it for 'later'. By 'later', she meant the next line.

"Whoa there Mr. Shank-a-lot, I don't know what's your problem, but you need to learn some respect man. Instead of going my on my merry way after you ditched 'helpless' lil me, I decided to actually tag along and get blood all over my new clothes! And just so you know, they're not 'magical beams of doom and death', they're friggin 'lazor' beams!"

"How would it even be possible to get blood on your clothes if you disintegrated everyone who got in your way with your 'lazor' beams?" inquired Lissa, who everybody had forgotten about.

"Uh…"

* * *

_**Well, there we have it! I honestly wanted to write more and, but what I already had felt a bit iffy and I didn't want to overuse the lazor joke (which was inspired by a conversation I had with pureshadow013). Just so you know, Hiyo is pretty much this fanfic's version of Robin (Build 2, Hairstyle 1, Face 4, and orange hair). The next chapter's going to involve 'Chronniekins' offering Hiyo a place amongst the Shepherds, and I may include a little scene inspired by Ricken & Nowi's supports if I'm able to successfully write it.**_

_**Anyways, I haven't really determined this Fanfic's ships yet so feel free to send a review with which ships you want me to use (Spoiler: Henry's already taken)!**_

_**All and any feedback is appreciated!**_

_**-Bunri**_


	2. Joining the Shepherds

**A.N.: Urgh, I've been feeling too lazy to update, but here it is! Since most of my ideas are too short for my liking to count as a chapter, the next few chapters may just be a bunch segmented one-shots, which do exist in the same continuity.**

* * *

_Joining the Shepherds_

An awkward silence followed the innocent comment made by Lissa. Lissa was staring at Hiyo, Hiyo was staring back at Lissa, and Chrom was just standing there picking his nose. It was awkward, very very awkward, and Mr. Shank-a-lot was not amused. So he decided to cut the silence, cut the silence like a cake, a metaphorical cake.

"So, how can we determine that you are not a potential threat to the lives milord and milady?" Frederick probed once again. Chrom was not pleased by the potential direction the conversation could take, so he cut in before anybody could say anything.

"Frederick, please. Hiyo has fought to save Ylissean lives, my heart says that enough. Other than that, the Shepherds could use someone of Hiyo's talent, especially with the brigands, unruly neighbors, and evil cults that worship demonic dragons looking to bloody our soil. Other than that, just imagine what would happen if an extraordinary individual such as Hiyo fell in with the wrong sort. Despite her lack of a story, there's something about that 'lazor' tome of hers that tells me to follow my gut. "

Hiyo cried. Everybody was ignoring Lissa again, and she was going to change that.

"H-hey Hiyo! Why're you crying? Was it something Chrom said?"

"I j-just realized I didn't get to bitch-slap anyboooooody!"

And Hiyo bitch-slapped Lissa, Lissa bitch-slapped Hiyo, and a newfound friendship was born. All was good, and the merry group of four went along their merry way to Ylisstol.

* * *

**Erm, well that's it. It took me way less time to write this one, and I'm happier with it than the last. Onto the responding to reviews!**

**Gunlord500: To be honest, I've never seen the original meme, I originally got the idea from seeing a friend play this thing called 'The Impossible Quiz', where one 'question' literally involved firing a 'lazor'.**

**Pureshadow013: Yay for ridiculousness! Crack-fics are personally my favorite type of fanfiction.**

**Oh, and by the way, I'm planning on starting another FEA fanfic called Toothpaste (can't currently think of a good name), which isn't crack and should take on a more serious tone (since I need to practice my writing). I guess you could say it's a self-insert, but I'm trying to take it from an abstract approach, and I wouldn't expect it to be similar to Asleep or Daydreams and Nightmares. It may have an OC submission thing but I'm not sure at the moment.**


End file.
